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You
Know You've Got A Mangalorean Wife When... She
does not talk to you for several days because at a recent party you
chose to speak in chaste Konkani and not English, thus lowering her
social status She wears high-heels to a dance and then goes bare foot on
to the dance floor because it is more comfortable. She cooks "paiz"
(boiled rice) for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner and for in-between
meals. Accompanied by "Kualo Kadi" and "Lonche". Bronia Fernandes, Mumbai 29/08/2002. A guy walks into a bar, orders 3 mugs of Budweiser and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender winks and tells him, "You know, a mug of beer goes flat soon after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The
guy replies, "Well, it's like this, I have 2 brothers. One is in
Australia, the other is in Ireland, and I'm in good ol' U S of A. When
we all left home after college, we promised that we'd drink this way to
remember the days we had
fun guzzling together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one
for myself. For old time's sake." The bartender admits that this is
a touching, heart-warming custom, and
leaves it at that. The
guy becomes a regular in this bar, and always drinks the same way. He
orders 3 mugs and drinks them one sip each, in turn. One day, he comes
in and orders 2 mugs. All the regulars + bar-tender take notice and
become silent.(Guy must have lost a brother). When
he comes back to the bar for the second round, the
bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I want
to offer my condolences on
your loss." The
guy looks puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs.
"Oh no, everybody in the family's just fine," he explains,
"It's just that my wife had me join her Baptist Church and I had to
quit drinking all together. Darn, but this hasn't affected my 2 brothers
though !!!!!" CHEERS!!! Archibald
Furtado,
Muscat 23/08/2002 SAND
& STONES A story
tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some
point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the
other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without
saying anything, wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED
ME IN THE FACE." They kept on walking until they found an oasis,
where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got
stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After
he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY
MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE." The
friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After
I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on a stone.
Why?" The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us we
should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it
away But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in
stone where no wind can ever erase it." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS
IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. They say
it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Jerry
Britto, Thottam
16/08/2002 A man
gets into shower just as his wife comes out of it and the door bell
rings.After a few seconds of arguing as to who should answer the door,
the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs down
stairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor.Before she could say a word, Bob says "I'll give you 800
Dollars if you drop that towel !!!” Deliberating
for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of
Bob. Bob enjoys the sight
for a while, chuckles and as promised, hands her the $800 and leaves. Confused
but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps herself back in the
towel and runs up to tell her husband what happened !!!! Before she
could open her mouth, the husband asks from the shower "who was
that ?" "It
was Bob, the next door neighbor" she replies. "Great" the
husband says. "Did
he say any thing about the $800 he owes me ?" MORAL OF
THE STORY : If you share
critical information pertaining to Credit and Exposure with your
stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Maurice
D’Mello , 16/08/2002 One day a farmer's aging donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided since the animal was old it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel mud into the well, to get him buried. At
first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
The legend has it that the donkey said to have said, “My dear
farmer, I slogged for you my entire life and I can still work for you.
Don’t bury me alive, just because I am old, and don't bury your
own well, please.” Then,
to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing
something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the
farmer's neighbors continued to shovel mud on top of the animal, he
would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and took off as a wanderer, after a big
‘thank you’ to humans for treating him so humanely. Life
is going to showel dirt, all kinds of dirt.
The trick is to "shake it off and take a step up".
Thanks folks. James
Fernandes ,jimtoxic@aol.com
USA 15/08/2002 John
and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while
they were walking passed the hospital swimming pool, John
suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
David promptly jumped in and saved him. He swam to the bottom of the
pool and pulled John out. The
medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately
ordered that David be discharged from the Mental Hospital, as he considered him to be OK. The
Doctor said, "We have good news and bad news for you, David! The
good news is that we are going to discharge you because You have
regained your senses. Since you were able to jump in and save another
patient you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient
whom you saved, Mr. John, hung himself in the bathroom, and died." David
replied, "Doctor, he didn't hang himself. I hung him there to
dry." Marina Gonsalves, Barkur, 15/08/2002
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Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210 |
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Copyright Kishoo, Barkur 2002. |
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