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Funniest joke in the world…!

Scientists in Britain unveiled the world’s funniest joke at the end of the largest study of humour ever.The LaughLab experiment conductedby psychologist Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire , attracted more than 40000 joked and almost 2 million ratings.

And here it is……….

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell-phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps “ My friend is dead! What can I do?”.

The operator says “ Calm down .., I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone , the guy says “Okay, now what?”

-Kishoo.

A priest asked the Sunday school children, "All those who want to go to heaven come up here."  Except Jimmy, everybody gathered around the priest.

"Don't you want to go to heaven?", the priest yelled at jimmy, who was sitting alone stubbornly. "No." said Jimmy, defiantly.

"Do you mean to sit there and tell me that you don't want to go to heaven when you die?"

"Ofcourse, I want to go to heaven when I die. I thought all of you are taking off right now!"

James Fernandes  Jimtoxic@aol.com

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were  visiting Jerusalem . George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make  arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial. The Consul,  after hearing  of the death of the mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body
back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as  much as   $5,000.00. The Consul continues, in most cases the person  responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This  would only cost  $150.00.

George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it  will  cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do." The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much  considering the difference in price."
 "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many years  ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem . On the third day he arose from the dead!  I just can't take that chance!"

Ivan Pinto, Abu Dhabi .

Does any of it apply to anyone of us here!!!!!!

"COMPETITIVE SALARY" -We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" -We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" -You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" -Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY" -Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" -We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED”-Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON" -If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" -We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" -
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" -You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"-You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"  -Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

-Marina Gonsalves.

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Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210

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