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In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then,
neither God nor man has rested.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of
course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his
dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his
attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man
seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The
Married life is very frustrating. in the first
year of marriage, the Hubby speaks and the wife listens. In the second
year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both
speak and the neighbours listen.
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make
a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It
A man said his credit card was stolen but he
decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an
angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
A couple was having a discussion about family
finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my
money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied,
"My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After marriage, the "y"
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how
much does it cost to get
Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she
expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she
There was this guy who told his woman that he
loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got
married - and now he is going through hell.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds :
"Wife wanted". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing : "You can have mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new
A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife."The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."
Gates in Hell
Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".So, Bill takes a look at hell and saw these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches. Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps and singing and worship and stuff like that. So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.
About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons. He said to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?"
Peter replied, "That was just the screen saver."
-Marina Gonsalves, Barkur
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Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210
Copyright Kishoo, Barkur 2002.