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Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them :"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."
"Vot do you mean
it'z illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro means a
four" replies the Italian official. "Qvattro is just ze name
of ze automobile", the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at
ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons."
"You can'ta pulla
thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent. "Quattro
meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are
therefore a breaking the law."
The German driver
replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over,
I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!"
Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher
asked, "Harry what is your problem?"
"I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third
-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!" Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the
principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher
explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms
Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of
his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She
agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
and he agreed to take the
test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with
every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The
principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go
to the third-grade." Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me
ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree. Ms
Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
Harry, after a moment
Ms Brooks: "What
is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Ms Brooks: "What
does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Ms Brooks: What starts
with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Ms Brooks: What goes
in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?” .The principal's
eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,Harry was
Ms Brooks: What does a
man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three
The principal's eyes
open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Harry: Shake hands
Ms Brooks: Now I will
ask some "Who am I" sort of questions,okay?
Ms Brooks: You stick
your poles inside me. You tie me down to get
me up. I get wet
before you do.
Ms Brooks: A finger
goes in me. You fiddle with me when
you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was
looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in
many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Ms Brooks: I have a
stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Ms Brooks: What word
starts with an 'F' and ends in 'UCK' that means a lot of heat and
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Harry to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
This is what life is about:
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the
same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour
each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next
to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat
on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives
and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military
service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon when the man in the bed
by the Window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his
roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the
other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would
be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world
The window overlooked a park with a
lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed
their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm midst flowers of every
colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the
As the man by the window described all
this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would
close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the
man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man
couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his minds eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed. One morning, the
day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the
lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his
sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the
body away.As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he
could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the
switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him
alone.Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his
first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look
out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the
nurse what could have
compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things
outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was
blind and could not even see the wall.She said, Perhaps he just wanted
to encourage you. There is tremendous happiness in making others happy,
despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but
happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count
all the things you have that money can't buy.
Today is a gift, that's why it is called 'the
People will forget what you said...
People will forget what you did...
But people will never forget how you made them
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Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210
Copyright Kishoo, Barkur 2002.