Designed , developed & Hosted By Kishoo, Barkur

Home

 

 

This page is updated regularly, please refresh or reload on your visit.

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them :"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."

"Vot do you mean it'z illegal?" asks the German driver.

"Quattro means a four" replies the Italian official. "Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile", the Germans retort unbelievingly. "Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons."

"You can'ta pulla thata one on me!", replies the Italian customs agent. "Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car  and you are therefore a breaking the law."

The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your   supervisor over, I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!"
"Sorry", responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come.  He'sa busy with a 2 guys in a Fiat Uno".

First-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed  to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree. Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is  hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? .The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions,okay?

Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get

me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when  you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow  me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. 

Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'UCK' that means a lot of heat and excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the  teacher, "Send Harry to university, I got the last ten questions  wrong myself!"

-Kishoo, Barkur 10/12/2002

This is what life is about:

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the Window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm midst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his minds eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse  what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.She said, Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you. There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Today is a gift, that's why it is called 'the present'.

People will forget what you said...

People will forget what you did...

But people will never forget how you made them feel...

Best wishes to all - Vera, Dubai, 10/12/2002

    For More of Barkur Masala Click 

1  2  3  4  5 6  7   8  9  10  11  12  13  14

Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210

 kishoos@emirates.net.ae

Copyright Kishoo, Barkur 2002.