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A little girl asked he grandfather, “Did God make you, Grandpa?”

“Yes, God made me,” the grandfather replied.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, “Did God make my mummy too?”

“Yes, God made your mummy, and you too were made by God, my pretty little girl.”

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.  At last she spoke up. “You know, Grandpa,” she said, “God is doing a lot better job lately.”

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go back to the church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in the church?”

Little Jimmy jumped up and yelled, “Because people are sleeping!”

A rabbit had escaped from a laboratory. He met some wild rabbits.  “I am a rabbit from the laboratory and I have just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?” he asked.

“Yes, come and join us.” They replied.

“What else do you do besides eating grass?” the rabbit asked.

“We are on our way to dig carrots and eat lettuce.”  So the rabbit joined and spent several hours eating fresh carrots and lettuce. The rabbit asked them for cigarettes. The wild rabbits had none.  “In that case I have to go back to the laboratory. I am dying for a cigarette.”

James Fernandes, USA

Humor at Sardarji's expense!

A Sardar went to a Tea shop and ordered, 'I want a Medium Tea' Tea seller asked with jokingly, 'What Medium, English or Hindi? 'Sardar replied angrily, 'I told you TEA! not CHAI, So It's in English Medium'

Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had  purchased a packet of butter few minutes ago.
"Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shop keeper.
"But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." Shopkeeper answered politely. "Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet of  the butter 'cholesterol free'."

A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to  have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar  bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5  minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An  hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that  the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment  with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out. Few  minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't  do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

Banta singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with a man ahead of him.

'Ek Punjab mail dena', (Give me one for the punjab mail) demanded the  man in front. He was given a ticket. (*** Punjab mail is name of the train **)

Then came the turn of Banta singh ,' Ikk Punjab female dena ' 'What do  you mean by punjab female?' asked the clerk 'it is for my wife', replied Banta Singh.

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says, "I'll take it!” The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks,” What is that shiny object you have?" He said, "It's a thermos.” The boss then says,” What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

One day a Sardarji talking with his friend....... Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.  Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a Telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.

BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Our Sardarji purchased a new BMW and was flying back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately he found out something and began to sweat. By that time another Sardarji came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what is the matter .Our sardarji said: The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the car without the engine. IInd Sardarji: Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that.

Toswyn Menezes , Kuwait


TEACHER: Why are you late?

L-JOHNY: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

L-JOHNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow”

TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?

JOHNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?


TEACHER: No, that's wrong

L-JOHNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER: What are you talking about?

L-JOHNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?

 L-JOHNY: George! 


TEACHER: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we  didn't  have ten years ago.



TEACHER: Johny, why do you always get so dirty?

L-JOHNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.


L-JOHNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?

L-JOHNY: Your name on this report card.



TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.


TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

L-JOHNY: I is...

TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."

L-JOHNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the  sameday  sametime."




Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why  his  father didn't punish him?"

L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."


L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No. Why do you ask that?

L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one  is  green  and one is blue with red spots!

L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.


Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped  him, what virtue would I be showing?

 L-Johnny: Brotherly love


Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before  eating?

L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the  same  as  your brother's. Did u copy his?

L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!



Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when  people  are no longer interested?

L-Johnny : A teacher


Mavis Rodrigues, Bejai

Don't miss it

A  junior manager, a senior manager and their  boss are on their way to a meeting.  On their way  through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost
says,"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as
you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want  the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a  fast boat and have no worries."Pfufffff, and he was  gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and  he was also gone.

The boss calmly said,"I want these two idiots  back in the office after lunch"
Moral of the story is:   "Always allow the bosses to speak first"

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Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210

Copyright Kishoo, Barkur 2002.