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Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing  to learn but was unable to pay the fees. The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court".

Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both! of them decided to argue for themselves.
The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money".

Equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues.And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet.So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything".


A weary traveler entered the train and saw a dog sitting in the only available seat. He approached a well dressed middle aged French woman  sitting in the adjacent seat and asked, "Ma'am, could you please move  your dog? I need that seat."

The French woman looked down her nose at the American and  sniffed,  "You  Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't  you see my little  FiFi needs that seat?"

The American walked away. Determined to find a place to rest, he walked  the length of the train and found nothing. So, he came back to deal  with the woman with the dog.  Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans!  not only  are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The American didn't say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her  honor and chastise the American.

An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,  sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong  thing.  You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the  wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

Sunitha D’Silva, Kuwait.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were  supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we  cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving  kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean  I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," --Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a  very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other  part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing  through our papers. We are the president," --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."-Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are  doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

“It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another" --George W. Bush, US President

Mein thera paaon pakadtha hoon, mera sar math khaa


A woman walked into the kitchen and found her husband walking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing ?" She asked. "Hunting flies", he replied. "Killed any?" "Yep, 3 males, 2 females".  Intrigued, she asked "how can you tell?"

"3 were on the beer mug, 2 were on the PHONE!!!!"


The following were actually said in court at witness stand !!!

Q  :  Are you sexually active ?

A :  No.  I just lie there.

Q  :  What is your date of Birth ?

A  :  July Fifteenth

Q  : What year ?

A  :  Every year.

Q  :  What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning ?

A  :  He said 'where am I Cathy ?'

Q  :  And why did that upset you ?

A  :  My name is SUSAN !!!

Q  :  So, the date of conception of your baby was Aug. 8th ?

A  :  Yes

Q  :  And what were you doing at that time ?

Q  :  All your answers should be oral.  Okay ?  What school did you go to ?

A  :  Oral !!! 

Maurice D’Mello

Get Along with the Rich, the Poor, the Beautiful, & the Ugly 


It was about a month ago when Jim felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic."

"Well," answered the Priest, "That's not a sin." "But I made him pay me 20 Pounds for each week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question."

"What is it son?" "Do I now have to tell him the war is over?"

“You better pay 10% to the Church first!”

James Fernandes, USA

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Barkur, located in Udupi Taluk, Karnataka, India. 576 210

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