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Letters to God from Kids...
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying.
I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.
Who draws the lines around the countries?
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her.
I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best.
My brothers told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They are just kidding, aren't they?
If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
Toswyn Menezes, Kuwait.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a New car.
It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
A man owes his success to his first wife; and his second wife to his success.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriage is like a cage; those outside are desperate to get in and those inside desperate to get out.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage,the'Y' becomes silent.
Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener
Jolvin Furtado, Mumbai
A group of blondes in a class at Texas A&M University were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they fell off the ladders, dropped the tape measures and pencils -- the whole thing was just a mess.
An engineering student comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gives the measurement to one of the blondes and walks away .
After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed: "Isn't that just like a dumb engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"
The Job Interview an office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked "What is the fastest thing you know of?" pointing to the man on his right.
The first man replied "A thought. It pops into your head. There's no forewarning that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. And now you sir? He asked the second man.
"Hmm....let me see, A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer "The blink of an eye. That's a very popular cliche for speed." as he turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch, when you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light." he said. Turning to the fourth man, he posed the question.
"After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is diarrhea."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I'd shit in my pants!"
He got the job.
Jossie Pinto, Kuwait
a quote from George Carlin:
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