A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail
that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk,
addressed in a shaky handwriting to God.
He thought, "I better open this one and see what it's all
about." So he opened it and it read,
"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small
pension." "Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a hundred
dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next
pension check. Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of
my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing
to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my
only hope. Can you please help me?"
The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the
letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and
came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he
had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and
sent over to her.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking
of the nice thing they had done. Easter came and went, and a few
days later came another letter from the old lady to God. All the
workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read,
"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for
me? Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely
dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my
friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was 4 dollars
missing. It was no doubt those thieving bastards at the post
Three old grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing
home.About then an old man walked by, and one of the grandmas
says, "We bet we can tell how old you are." The old man said,
"There ain't no way you can guess it."
One of the ornery grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your
under shorts and we can tell your exact age." He did. The
grandmas stared at him for a while and then they all piped up
and said, "You're 84 years old!"
The old man was stunned. "Amazing!", how did you guess that?”
The old grandmas, laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning
from ear to ear, all three happily yelled in unison,
"You told us yesterday."
Two young Israeli tourists are sitting at Babaji's Cold Drink
Temple in Mapusa. Sid and Al were both Jews. During their
conversation, Sid asked Al, "Are there any Jews in Goa?"
"I don't know," replied Al. "Why don't we ask our waiter?" When
the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there Goan Jews?" waiter
said, "I don't know sir, let me ask," and went and asked the
patrao. He returned a few minutes later and said, "No sir. No,
"Are you sure?" Al asked.
"I check again, sir," the waiter replied and went back to the
patrao seated at the cash counter. While he was gone, Sid
said to Al, "I can't believe there are no Jews in
Our people are scattered everywhere. And
has been a melting pot for so many different religions,
cultures and civilisations."
At this point, the waiter returned. "Sir, no Goan Jews!" he
said. Are you really sure, man?" Al asked again. "I can't
believe there are no Goan Jews."
Exasperated, the waiter frantically said, "Sir, I ask everyone!
We have Apple Jews, Orange Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews.
But no one hear of Goan Jews!"
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter
by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
A pastor walked into a neighborhood pub that was hopping with
music and dancing. Every now and than the lights would go out
followed by an eruption of cheer from the crowd. When somebody
noticed the pastor however, the revelry stopped and the room got
very quiet. Feeling awkward and out of place, the pastor went to
the bartender and asked,
"May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."
"For heavens sake, why not?" The pastor said.
"Well, there is a large statue of a woman in there, and I'm
afraid it would offend you, being a man of the cloth and all.
She is only wearing a fig leaf over her..."
“Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll just look the other way." And
feeling very self-conscious in the quiet room he entered the
After a few minutes he emerged and the whole place was filled
with music and dancing again, and everyone was giving him an
enthusiastic round of applause. Several patrons came to him,
slapped him on the back, put their arms around his shoulders,
and led him to the bar where he was presented
with a cold drink, on the house.
"I don't understand," the bewildered pastor whispered to the
bartender, "What happened?"
“They know you're one of us now," the bartender replied.
The bartender grinned and slid another drink to him. "When the
fig leaf on the statue is lifted, all the lights go out."