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The multi-purpose card is the latest version of our perpetually metamorphosing IC. With an embedded smart chip, it can also store our medical history, driver's license, acts as an ATM card, serve as an electronic purse and even be used at the National Library.
A likely scenario when ordering pizzas in the near future... Mr. Singh the customer is ordering Pizza....

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Hello, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold on...... 6102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. our home number is 40942366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 014 66 2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"

from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can aways come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " Wat!"

Operator : "According to the details in system , you own Scooter,. registration number E1123..."

Customer: " *'!^ *%^**%^I7*"

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on policeman...?"
Customer: [Speechless]

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.......

Mr. Singh faints.

Sunitha, Kuwait

Prayer for a Happy Marriage

Dear Lord.......

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;And Patience for his moods;Because Lord if I pray for Strength, I may beat him to death.

Amen.....

Toswyn, Kuwait

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always.

He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him.

They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said: "Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say."

"Why do you say that?" asked the client.

"Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Ok, tell me. If God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain. I can't think of loving a God who permits all of these things."

The client stopped for a moment thinking, but he didn't want to respond so as to cause an argument. The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with long hair and a beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his hair cut and he looked untidy).

Then the client again entered the barbershop and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say they don't exist?" asked the barber. "I am a barber and here I am."

"No!" the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beards like that man who walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist. What happens is that people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist! What happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Sometime after independence

Four great leaders of the country - Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to heaven.

Lord Krishna asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, Lord Krishna gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies he had 10 children, Lord Krishna is a bit upset and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.

Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, Lord Krishan is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot.

They ask whyLord Krishna hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, 'Some idiot told Lord Krishan that I was the Father of the Nation!'

Unfaithful

When Tom and Grace first got married, Tom said to Grace, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise to never look in it."

In all their 30 years of marriage, Grace never looked; however, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her. She lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were three empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.

That evening they went out for a special dinner. After dinner Grace could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed: "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed; however, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know: Why do you keep the cans in the box?"

Tom thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Grace was shocked. Although she was very disappointed and saddened by this revelation she thought to herself that his being on the road and away from home for sometimes weeks on end temptation does happen. It was only three times and that wasn't so bad considering all the years they were married.

She hugged her husband and forgave him for these few transgressions of his.

A little while later, Grace asked Tom, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"

Tom answered, "Well, whenever the box was filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash."

NUMBER GAME

Three men waiting in the room for expectant fathers waited for word on the arrival of their infants.

Some while later a nurse comes in and announces to one of the men that  his wife had just given birth to twins.

"Thatís amazing " he said - " I play for the "Minnesota Twins !"

About twenty minutes later another nurse comes in and announces to the second gentleman that his wife had given birth to triplets. "WOW " - he stated, "I work for the "3M company !!"

Upon hearing that the third man fell off his chair and fainted - after those who were present were able to revive him, they all inquired as to why he had fainted. He said í I work for the "7-UP company !!!

HUMOUR

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him:  "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!" The blind man replies:  "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!"

Charles Lewis, Bahrain

Meditation

-Sunitha, Kuwait

Surprise, Surprise!!

Toswyn, Kuwait

Monalisa!!?

-Reshma, Dubai

 

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