The multi-purpose card is the latest version of our perpetually
metamorphosing IC. With an embedded smart chip, it can also
store our medical history, driver's license, acts as an ATM
card, serve as an electronic purse and even be used at the
A likely scenario when ordering pizzas in the near future... Mr.
Singh the customer is ordering Pizza....
Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first,
Customer: "It's eh..., hold on...... 6102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17
Jalan Kayu. our home number is 40942366, your office 7645 2302
and your mobile is 014 66 2566. Which number are you calling
from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high
blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien
from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then,
how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir.
The total is $49.99"
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit
card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since
October last year.That's not including the late payment charges
on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and
withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached
your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash
ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
aways come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " Wat!"
Operator : "According to the details in system , you own
Scooter,. registration number E1123..."
Customer: " *'!^ *%^**%^I7*"
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th
July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3
free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records
you're also diabetic.......
Mr. Singh faints.
Prayer for a Happy Marriage
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;And
Patience for his moods;Because Lord if I pray for Strength, I
may beat him to death.
A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut
He started to have a good conversation with the barber who
They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly,
they touched the subject of God. The barber said: "Look man, I
don't believe that God exists as you say."
"Why do you say that?" asked the client.
"Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to
realize that God does not exist. Ok, tell me. If God existed,
would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned
children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain.
I can't think of loving a God who permits all of these things."
The client stopped for a moment thinking, but he didn't want to
respond so as to cause an argument. The barber finished his job
and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the
barber shop he saw a man in the street with long hair and a
beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his
hair cut and he looked untidy).
Then the client again entered the barbershop and he said to the
barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say they don't exist?" asked the barber. "I am a
barber and here I am."
"No!" the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they
did there would be no people with long hair and beards like that
man who walks in the street."
"Ah, barbers do exist. What happens is that people do not come
"Exactly!"- affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does
exist! What happens is people don't go to Him and do not look
for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the
Sometime after independence
Four great leaders of the country - Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash
Chandra, Lal Bahadur Shastri and Jawaharlal Nehru went to
Lord Krishna asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had
during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy
with the relatively good family planning adopted, Lord
Krishna gave Shastri a Mercedes!
Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question. When he replies
he had 10 children, Lord Krishna is a bit upset and gives him a
cheaper car, the Ford.
Jawaharlal is next and on replying that he had 15 children, Lord
Krishan is pretty angry and gives him an inexpensive Maruti.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot.
They ask whyLord Krishna hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji
replied with anger, 'Some idiot told Lord Krishan that I was the
Father of the Nation!'
When Tom and Grace first got married, Tom said to Grace, "I am
putting a box under the bed. You must promise to never look in
In all their 30 years of marriage, Grace never looked; however,
on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the
best of her. She lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box
were three empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. She closed the
box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in
the box, she was doubly curious as to why.
That evening they went out for a special dinner. After dinner
Grace could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed:
"I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never
looked into the box under our bed; however, today the temptation
was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know: Why do you
keep the cans in the box?"
Tom thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years
you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you,
I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind
myself not to do it again."
Grace was shocked. Although she was very disappointed and
saddened by this revelation she thought to herself that his
being on the road and away from home for sometimes weeks on end
temptation does happen. It was only three times and that wasn't
so bad considering all the years they were married.
She hugged her husband and forgave him for these few
transgressions of his.
A little while later, Grace asked Tom, "So why do you have all
that money in the box?"
Tom answered, "Well, whenever the box was filled up with empty
cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for
Three men waiting in the room for expectant fathers waited for
word on the arrival of their infants.
Some while later a nurse comes in and announces to one of the
men that his wife had just given birth to twins.
amazing " he said - " I play for the "Minnesota Twins !"
About twenty minutes later another nurse comes in and announces
to the second gentleman that his wife had given birth to
- he stated, "I work for the "3M company !!"
Upon hearing that the third man fell off his chair and fainted -
after those who were present were able to revive him, they all
inquired as to why he had fainted. He said í I work for the
"7-UP company !!!
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are
their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the
husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind
man and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at
the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!"
The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end
of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!"