An Interesting LOVE LETTER
My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda), you are my TVS
SCOOTY (first love) and my AIWA (pure passion). I always BPL
(believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (better than the best).
You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (delivering a million smiles) for me.
This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL ( seriously fresh ) feeling for me.
I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried
about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable)
and my father who is CEAT (born tough) but don't worry as I am
also FORD ICON (The josh machine) and rest of our family members
are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones).
If they say no, we will run away and get married and PHILIPS
(let's make things better). They will feel MIRINDA (zor ka
jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho
jaye). Trust in God who's always ! NOKIA (connecting people) who
love each other. And we are WILLS ( made! For each other).
Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must
know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE
(fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable). Don't worry; it
is new COCA COLA (life ho to aisye!).
Ok bye! I wrote little but PEPSI ( yeh dil mange more ).
LG (digitally yours).
* * *
What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Some Film
titles may be like these :
Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
Aao Chat Kare
Mera Naam Developer
Software Wale Job Le Jayenge
Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein
Do Processor , Baarah Terminal
Tera Code Chal Gaya
Server Ke Us Paar
Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
Jish Desh Mein Gates Rehatha Hai
Raju Ban Gaya MCSE..!
Client Ek Numbari , Programmer Dus Numbari
Login Karo Sajana
Naukar PC Ka
1942 -- A Bug Story
Kaho Na Virus Hai
Crash Se Crash Tak
Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
Shaheed-e- Hacker Singh
Password De Ke Dekho
Terminal Apna , Login Parayi
Mr. Network Lal
Server Sajaake Rakhna
Virus no 1
Internet ka badshah
Shahensha -E- network
Kaalia Ka secret network
Phir wahi router laya hoon
Phir Teri Java-script Yaad Aayi
Crash Tho Hona Hi Tha!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * *
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to
develop Programs on his Pentium machine (of course a lap
top),sitting under a tree on the banks of a river.He used to
earn his bread by selling those programs in the Friday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off from his
lap and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story
of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started
praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after
one month of rigorous prayers. Poor Engineer, he waited for a
long time and at last Goddess came!
The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the
river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.
She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer?"
Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the
replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and
asked if that was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if
it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said
"Yes." The River Goddess was happy with his honesty.
She was about to give him all three items, but before she could
make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that
you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing
up my own?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you
stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the
Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!"
So saying, she disappeared with his Computer!
Moral for Engineers and IT Professionals: If you're not
up-to-date with technology trends, its better keep your mouth
shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth
and remove all doubt.
So engineers cheer up ?
* * *
A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton
and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton
so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded
to punch in seven digits. The store owner listened to the
The boy said, "Lady, I want to cut your lawn".
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn".
"Lady I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who
cuts your lawn now."
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person
who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll
even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will
have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm Beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative. With a smile on his
face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The druggist walked over to the boy and said, "Son I like your
attitude, I like that positive spirit. Son, I would like to
offer you a job."
The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking on the
job I already have."
A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded
on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman B. 2 French men and 1
French woman C. 2 German men and 1 German woman D. 2 Greek men
and 1 Greek woman E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman F. 2
Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian
woman H. 2 Arabic men and 1 Arabic woman
One month later, on various parts of the island, the following
*One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian
*The two French men and the French woman! are living happily
*The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they
alternate with the German woman.
* The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman
is cooking & cleaning for them.
* The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a
long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
* The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the
island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.......
* The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce
them to the Indian woman
* The 2 Arabic men are looking for a piece of paper so they can
throw their mobile number at the Arabic woman.
[no offenz pleez - just for lafs]
Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayali's dont werk
hard? Kerala Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding
and -re-tying the lungi.
Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today? He is very bissi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly
to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff? To yearn meney.
What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire? He zimbly
jembd out of the vindow.
Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome? Because he
wanted to hear pope music.
What is Malayali management graduate called? A Yem Bee Yae.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America? He changes his
name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday? An Oto.
Where does he pray? Demble.
Sooory, dis is de yend! Goad bles you
Charles Lewis ,
* * * * *
The following are questions actually asked of witnesses during
trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful
"Now doctor, isn't it true
that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it
until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the
twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you present when your
picture was taken?"
"Were you alone or by
"Was it you or your younger
brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the
vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the
time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you
Q: "So the date
of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
Q: "She had three
Q: "How many were boys?
Q: "Were there any girls?"
Q: "You say
the stairs went down to the basement?"
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went
on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
Q: "How was
your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Q: "Can you
describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
Q: "Is your
appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
how many autopsies have your performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?"
Q: "Do you
recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering
why I was
doing an autopsy."
Q: "You were
not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the
Q: "Are you
qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood.
returned home after a swim at the beach. The mother asked,
"Were there any girls at the beach?"
Jimmy replied, "How do I know? No body was wearing any
* * *