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An Interesting LOVE LETTER

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda), you are my TVS SCOOTY (first love) and my AIWA (pure passion). I always BPL (believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL ( seriously fresh ) feeling for me.

I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (the unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (born tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The josh machine) and rest of our family members are pretty KELVINATORS (the coolest ones).

If they say no, we will run away and get married and PHILIPS (let's make things better). They will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye). Trust in God who's always ! NOKIA (connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS ( made! For each other).

Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (fun fast easy) and PARX (always comfortable). Don't worry; it is new COCA COLA (life ho to aisye!).

Ok bye! I wrote little but PEPSI ( yeh dil mange more ).

LG (digitally yours).

bye.. bye

Ivan Pinto

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What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Some Film titles may be like these :

Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

Aao Chat Kare

Programmer No.1

Mera Naam Developer

Software Wale Job Le Jayenge

Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein

Do Processor , Baarah Terminal

Tera Code Chal Gaya

Server Ke Us Paar

Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

Jish Desh Mein Gates Rehatha Hai

Raju Ban Gaya MCSE..!

Client Ek Numbari , Programmer Dus Numbari

Login Karo Sajana

Naukar PC Ka

1942 -- A Bug Story

Kaho Na Virus Hai

Crash Se Crash Tak

Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

Shaheed-e- Hacker Singh

Password De Ke Dekho

Terminal Apna , Login Parayi

Mr. Network Lal

Server Sajaake Rakhna

Virus no 1

Internet ka badshah

Shahensha -E- network

Kaalia Ka secret network

Phir wahi router laya hoon

Phir Teri Java-script Yaad Aayi

Crash Tho Hona Hi Tha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunitha, Kuwait

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Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop Programs on his Pentium machine (of course a lap top),sitting under a tree on the banks of a river.He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Friday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off from his lap and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. Poor Engineer, he waited for a long time and at last Goddess came!

The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.

She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer
replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes." The River Goddess was happy with his honesty.

She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the
Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!"

So saying, she disappeared with his Computer!

Moral for Engineers and IT Professionals: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, its better keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
So engineers cheer up ?

Ivan D’Silva, Kuwait

*   *     *     *     *    *

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could  reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.  The store owner listened to the following conversation.

The boy said, "Lady, I want to cut your lawn".

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn".

 "Lady I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts  your lawn now."

The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was  presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy found more perseverance and offered, "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm Beach, Florida."

Again the woman answered in the negative.  With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The druggist walked over to the boy and said, "Son I like your attitude, I like that positive spirit. Son, I would like to offer you a  job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking on the job I already have."


A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman B. 2 French men and 1 French woman C. 2 German men and 1 German woman D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman H. 2 Arabic men and 1 Arabic woman

One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

*One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

*The two French men and the French woman! are living happily together.

*The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

* The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

* The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

* The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.......

* The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman

* The 2 Arabic men are looking for a piece of paper so they can throw their mobile number at the Arabic woman.


[no offenz pleez - just for lafs]

Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayali's dont werk hard? Kerala Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and -re-tying the lungi.

Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today? He is very bissi.

Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?  To yearn meney.

What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?  He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?  Because he wanted to hear pope music.

What is Malayali management graduate called?  A Yem Bee Yae.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?  He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday? An Oto.

Where does he pray?  Demble.

Sooory, dis is de yend!   Goad bles you

Charles Lewis , Bahrain

*   *   *   *   *   *  

The following are questions actually asked of witnesses during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

"Were you present when your picture was taken?"

"Were you alone or by yourself?"

"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

"Did he kill you?"

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

"How many times have you committed suicide?"

Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have your performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, you dummy, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy."
Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood.
Little Jimmy returned home after a swim at the beach. The mother asked, "Were there any girls at the beach?"
Jimmy replied, "How do I know? No body was wearing any clothes."

James Fernandes, USA

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