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AS KIDS SEE IT !!!

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then, she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

SCHOOL : A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE :  A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. " What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Maurice D'Mello

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This particular joke won the award for the best joke in the competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?"Watson ponders for a minute.

Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it te ll you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"someone has stolen our tent".

Jossie Pinto

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Career Songs for all Professionals

1. When in college !!  Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din.....

2. when giving interview to Multi National Company  Tu hi re.. Too hi ree. tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. waiting for interview result!! Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki...

4. just joined  Too cheez bhadi hai mast mast.....

5. after some time...  Ye kahaan aagaye hum??

6. After some more time...  Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi kya ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)

7. floating the resume kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja...

8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer Jeena yehaan, marna yehaan iske siwa jaana kahan...

TELEGRAM # 1

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,  Which the father receives as :

"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

TELEGRAM # 2

A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife

"I wish you were here." The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."

TELEGRAM # 3

A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:

"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."

TELEGRAM # 4

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. Sohe goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well, he thinks for a while and says: let's put, "you are not getting older you are getting better". The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it ?" The man says, Well, put "You are not getting older", at the top and "You are getting better" at the bottom. The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened.The entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:

"You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the bottom".

TELEGRAM # 5

A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi. When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer. He sent atelegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was written:

"sethji aaj mar gaye !"   ( Sethji Ajmer gaye ).

Charles Lewis Bahrain

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Car Wash

Smoooochhhh

Charles Lewis Bahrain

Can you believe?

These are paintings ...not Photographs

Toswyn Menezes, Kuwait

 

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