Maria a beautiful Latina fell in love with Jose. She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her papa. Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another. Your Mother does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother". So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo. But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo, my darling. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Jose are your half-brothers."

Maria had no choice but to go to her mama. Mama already knew and said "My darling, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Jose, because you are not related to Papa."

*****************

Santa And Bunta Met In The Middle Of The Desert. One Is Carrying An Umbrella, the Other Is Carrying A Car Door.

Santa : " Why Are You Carrying That Umbrella Around, It Is'nt Going To Rain In  This Desert ".

Bunta : " Yeah ! But It Keeps Me Out Of The Sun.,By The Way , Why Are You  Carrying A Car Door ?".

Santa : " Well..At Least If I Get Hot From The Sun, I Can Just Roll Down The Window ".

Ivan Pinto

Very difficult to please the BOSS

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside  the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please".

The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten-dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing,  the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn and then it walks across the road, with the butcher  following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket, which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor.

The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. It approaches the house door, stands there for a few seconds, then the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, climbs up and beats its head against it several times, then jumps off, walks back, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.The butcher surprised and alarmed with this, he runs up to the door and stops the guy.

"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius I don't think you know what  he is capable of. For crying out loud this clever dog could be on TV"

To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten to take the house key when going out."

Moral of the Story:

You may continue to exceed onlookers' expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.

It's a dog's life after all...;)))

***************************************

The Ox and the Mule

- If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat .

For some time an old farmer had been plowing with an ox and a mule teamed together; working them pretty hard. The young ox said to the mule, "Let's play sick today and rest a little while." But the old mule said, "No, we need to get the work done, for the growing season is short."

But the ox played sick, and the farmer brought it fresh hay and corn and made the ox comfortable. When the mule came in from plowing, the ox asked how it went in the fields. "We didn't get as much done," answered the mule, "but we did a fair stretch." Then the ox asked, "What did the old man say about me?" "Nothing," said the mule.

The next day the ox, thinking it had a good thing going, played sick again. And when the mule returned from the field very tired, the ox asked, "How did it go today?" "All right, I guess," the mule replied, "but we didn't get much done."

Then the young ox asked, "What did the old man say about me?" "Nothing to me," the mule answered, "but he did stop and have a long talk with the butcher."

Charles Lewis, Bangalore

When Graphic designers don't have work....

-Kishoo